Brain Summary

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I'm going to start this off with a brief (ok, I failed at brief) summary of how my particular brain works. Warning: this got very long.

The main (and probably most obvious) oddness of how my brain works basically boils down to ADHD. This has never been technically diagnosed, but it seems accurate, and it's a good enough shorthand for me. Since ADHD presentation is hugely variable, I'm going to list the ways in which this mainly manifests in me.

 - I am absolutely incapable of sitting or standing still. I'm pretty classic hyperactive, in ways that most people seem to grow out of. I never have.

 - My brain prioritizes anything that is moving or talking over anything that isn't. Absolutely, full stop, under all circumstances.

 - I am extremely impulsive. If I don't have things in place to stop myself, I will make major changes and decisions on a whim.

 - My brain is a very disorganized place. I have very little ability to pull specific facts out at specific points, although they will pop up at other times. I cannot keep a list of things or a schedule in order in my head for 30 seconds. This often looks like having a terrible memory, which is somewhat true, but isn't exactly true. It's more that I cannot access my memory in a useful or consistent way.

 - I have a terrible temper. If you don't know me super well and did not know me before my mid-20s, this may be a surprise, but it is true.

 - The impossible task. If this isn't familiar to you look it up, but it's a common executive function issue. I will often put off stupid things for months, or be unable to accomplish something important because there is an impossible task in the way.

 - Hyperfocus. I'm an extrovert, so people are the thing I hyperfocus on the most. You may well have been a recipient of this. I can also wind up hyperfocused on organizing my music, or pickling vegetables, or writing an explanation of my brain. Pretty much anything, as long as it's not the thing that is actually most important for me to do.

 - Immediacy. If I can't see, hear, touch, or smell something right now, it doesn't really exist. This goes for people, tasks, cities, basically anything. 

 - 90% of the time, 90% is good enough. The rest of the time, someone else should do it. I cannot focus on the picky details. I don't care and my brain won't do it.

 - Doublespeed brain. On the other hand, I can get to that 90% point way faster than most people. When I was in school, I basically never spent more that 2/3 of the allotted time on an exam. It didn't matter whether it was a 10 minute quiz, or my 8 hour written quals exams. After 2/3 of the time, I was done, whether I was actually done or not. Oddly, I'm very good at exams. I just finish them very fast. 

- Lack of prioritization. I have limited control over what my brain will focus on right now. If I have enough productive options, I can usually pick one of them, but it may not be one of the more urgent or important ones.

Non-ADHD oddities of my brain:

 - Mood. My mood/energy baseline is WAY higher than average. I don't have an unusually large emotional range (I think it's pretty average? Hard to tell), but my baseline is high enough that my highs can occasionally be a problem. This feels pretty equivalent to the people who have an unusually low baseline and have periodic depressive swings.

 - Introversion/Extroversion. I said I was an extrovert. I sort of lied. I subdivide my extroversion and introversion to a relatively extreme degree. When you see me in a group, I'm in extrovert mode, but I spend a lot of the time in fairly strong introvert mode. I lean a little more to the extrovert side, but only a little.

 - People comprehension. I am extremely good at reading people when I turn my hyperfocus on them, but basically forget to the rest of the time. Maybe this is also ADHD?

 - Music. My brain plays a soundtrack for me ALL THE TIME. Sometimes it's things I have heard elsewhere. Sometimes it's stuff my brain writes on the spot.

 - Wis/Int swap. I often say that I took a feat somewhere along the way that allows me to use my int bonus for wisdom checks by taking twice as long. It means that while I'm faster at most things than people expect there are some things that take me much longer, but also get startlingly good results. 

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