Brain Bubble

Note: This was written in February, 2021. As I've alluded to before, I'm a bit of a gym rat. I like being strong, and exercise is one of the best things for calming my brain down. But also, it's my favorite drug. Being a responsible person who lives with a vulnerable spouse, I haven't been to a gym since the start of the pandemic. Early on, I got myself a set of dumbbells, and I've been making do. It's fine for keeping up on some things. It's fine for working certain sets of muscles. But they just aren't heavy enough for the large muscle groups, and with dumbbells a lot more things are limited by my hands before it really gets to the muscles I want to work. Recently I got myself a squat rack and bench, and then a bar and weights (yes, separated in time. There are reasons.) It's been a few weeks, and I've been working myself back up slowly, because it had been a long time, and I was trying to be responsible. I'm finally back to the point where...

I'm going to start this off with a brief (ok, I failed at brief) summary of how my particular brain works. Warning: this got very long. The main (and probably most obvious) oddness of how my brain works basically boils down to ADHD. This has never been technically diagnosed, but it seems accurate, and it's a good enough shorthand for me. Since ADHD presentation is hugely variable, I'm going to list the ways in which this mainly manifests in me.  - I am absolutely incapable of sitting or standing still. I'm pretty classic hyperactive, in ways that most people seem to grow out of. I never have.  - My brain prioritizes anything that is moving or talking over anything that isn't. Absolutely, full stop, under all circumstances.  - I am extremely impulsive. If I don't have things in place to stop myself, I will make major changes and decisions on a whim.  - My brain is a very disorganized place. I have very little ability to pull specific facts out at specific points,...