Coping with Limited Resources

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Note: This was first written in April 2020.

Right now, like everyone else, I'm in a state of having less resources to activate my coping mechanisms and more stress to deal with. Under normal circumstances, I can get refreshes from seeing people, going clubbing, etc. Right now I don't have those options, and there's a lot more environmental stress load.

This means that, realistically, I just have to make do with less. I get less done, I have less control over what my brain is willing to do. I can't change either of those facts. They are just facts that I have to live with for the indefinite future.

So, how do I cope with that and still make sure that I meet the actual requirements of what really needs to get done? Mostly, a lot of acceptance and self-forgiveness, combined with some asking for help, and some being very careful about how I use the coping strategies I have left.

Right now, I'm paying very close attention to impossible tasks. The longer they loom, or the longer I bash my head against them, the worse they get and the more they interfere with everything else. So, right now, I pay really close attention to my reactions. If I look at a task, even a stupid simple one and my brain says "nope, that's impossible", I just accept it, make a little note (sometimes right in my to-do list app), and go on to a different task. I don't try to do it, and I try very hard not to make it a big deal. 

If it's an impossible task that someone else can do, I'm trying really hard to remember that I'm allowed to ask for help and let my partners take on some of those tasks. However, there are limited tasks for which this is an option.

There are a few refreshes I still do have: intense exercise, staying up late enough that I'm physically tired (yes, this is a work-focus refresh for me), and doing creative things. I try very hard to come back to those  impossible tasks immediately after a refresh. I may not get that much done on them, but if I can get a chunk done, that often makes them a little less impossible later. If it doesn't at least I've gotten something done. 

And the biggest part is forgiveness. This is terrible and hard. I'm being forgiving of everyone else in this situation. I need to extend the same courtesy to myself. I'm not going to get everything done, and I need to live with that. Accepting that makes it easier to appreciate what does get done, even if it's not what I wanted to do.

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